Views, Frustrations, and Love!!

It's interesting as a foster parent how different our perspective is on the goings on of certain issues pertaining to the children of our world. This experience has certainly given us a chance to help improve the lives of the children in our home and the added bonus is that we also get to take on all the issues that their previous environment has given them. While for some of them, the issues have been minor in comparison to others, it is mind numbingly hard to deal with all the long term problems that take so much out of you and the person you are, that at times it seems it is in vain and you lose sight of your purpose. Now, I realize that I signed up for this in the hopes that my family would come about through this process, it was also initially a huge let down to not have the 'perfect' family and the ideal family I had always envisioned having. That being said, it is worth all the crap we have to go through because we KNOW that these kids are meant to be with our family forever and that is the reason we go through all that we have and are going through.

The interesting thing is now trying to look at it from an outsiders perspective. I thought everyone would feel like we are doing a good thing and we are being fine upstanding citizens of our community that open our lives and home and take on this HUGE responsibility. But it is painfully obvious that even people the closest to me, who should know better, sometimes don't see it that way. Some feel we are in it for the money, and to that I say, "Ha, ha, ha!!! I would love to see anyone raise a child and actually have a small fraction of the expenses fit within what we are 'paid'." First of all, we didn't know we were 'paid' for being foster parents when we signed up. We honestly and truly just wanted to have kids in our home and even if they didn't stay forever, to know we helped where and when we were needed. We are fortunate that the kids we have in our home currently, were only our second placement and we going to be able to adopt them. Normally people have to go through years of heart ache and several placements to be where we are. The payment we value is seeing the difference we are making in these kid's lives.

Another thing that has recently been voiced, is the thought that we are 'taking' the children away from their parents and how unfair and painful that is for the parents. While I truly and honestly feel sorry for them because I can't imagine having my children taken from me and how painful it would be, I disagree that is unfair. For those parents who have children come into the system and work hard, and and make life changes, those are parents who deserve to have their children returned to them and celebrate their love and commitment to their children. On the other hand, there are those who lack the ability, whether mentally or physically, to take care of and provide a safe and loving environment for their children. Unfortunately, this is the most common situation that is encountered.

I am very passionate about taking care of children in need and I guess it really gets me going when people see the unfairness for the parents who aren't deserving of these wonderful children. I know I am far from perfect, but I try to do the best I can. Please everyone, realize the what the majority of the foster parents are in it for, the children. I know there are some who are in it for the money and I don't know how they can. It's not a lot of money...honestly!!

I am so grateful for the support that I have in the friends and family that understand what we are trying to do and love us for it. It is hard, and I know there are some who say they could never do it. It takes a certain tolerance and there are some times that even I am lacking.

I do feel sorry for the family of our beautiful children that we have in our custody. Despite repeated attempts to help them correct their behavior and lifestyle, they are not willing to leave all people and places behind, and are so entrenched in it, that even with the help they have received, they can't see their way out. It is sad, but in the end, it is what ended up building our family and I am grateful for that.

The first moment that I saw R, I recognized him and I knew I had never seen him before and I felt very strongly that these children were meant to be a part of our family. It is not easy, it is so hard most days that I wonder if we made the right decision, but in the end and when the turmoil of the moment is over, we see the clear path for us and understand where the doubt is coming from.

Thank you for listening to my random rantings and feelings. I love you all for loving me for who I am, and what my potential is.

Life Changes- sad post

Well I am telling you right now, this post is not going to be an upbeat one. Today was a very sad day for our family. Some of you know because you are also friends with me on Facebook, but we had to put Sage, our mild mannered, beautiful, friend and companion, to sleep today. It has been the second hardest day in my life so far, the first of which being the day my babies were born.

I remember the day Sage came to us. We were so worried about her getting into things since she was just a puppy and the only thing we had was a borrowed circular pillow that she only fit in for about 2 weeks, that Chris actually spent the night downstairs with her. I have a picture of this but it was before digital photos so I need to scan it. She was such a beautiful and friendly dog. It was always funny to hear people react to us saying that we had a Weimarainer. They would talk about how hyper and horrible they are as dogs, but not our Sage. We joke that she was more human than dog most of the time. She loved spending time with us and we loved her every minute. Well, I guess not every minute. There was a time that she sneaked upstairs and was in the room my sister was sleeping in and scared her to death, and when she came downstairs to leave for work, Sage had torn apart her pillow and strewn it throughout the house, chewed up some pictures left on the coffee table and eaten Chris' pager from Search and Rescue, an expensive replacement. We have pictures of this too, just not digital.

But in spite of some of the crazy times, she was a great dog. She loved running errands with me and would always sit in the passenger seat. Occasionally she would look over like she was asking, "Where are we going?" and she would sniff the vents to see if she could tell by the outside air coming in. All we ever had to say was, "Do you want to go for a ride?" and she would be on her feet running for the door. One of my favorite things she would do while riding with me on errands, was she would lean over and rest her head on my shoulder or lap and just be with me. She loved to snuggle and I wished I could have done it more, but I have severe allergies to dogs, I always broke out in hives when I let her touch my skin.


She loved going to the park and running. For several years Chris and I would go over and walk after 10 pm and take her with us. She was such a good dog, that we could let her off her leash and she would just run around by us. She never liked to be out of our sight which is opposite of our other dog.

The time I will always love her for, was the time that I was in the hospital with the triplets. That was so hard not seeing her since I was there for 10 days. The nurses kept asking how big of a dog she was so they could sneak her in to see me, but there is not sneaking Sage. She's a big dog. I missed her so much I would cry on the phone and Chris would try and get her to bark or sing or make any noise on the phone so I could hear her. He would put me on speaker phone so I could talk to her and he said she would run around looking for me. When I came home empty handed, she was there to comfort me. I'm not sure if she knew what went on, but she knew I needed someone. She would not leave my side and it was such a comforting thing. Even today as I was talking to a friend and crying over this difficult decision that we had to make, she got up and came over and sat by my feet and tried to comfort me even though she could barely move.

You couldn't ask for a better dog than Sage. Most people that met her were very complimentary of her. She really was an angel on Earth for our family.

She was injured a little over a year ago while running up and down the stairs in our home. We don't know if she tripped on her own foot or Koda's, but she ended up have radial damage in her shoulder. We took her to the vet and they said it was probably repairable but there was no guarantee and it was really expensive since we would have to see a specialist. They told us she could still have many good months to years even with the dead leg so we decided to watch and see. She did fine until a few months ago when I noticed she started really seeming worn out. She had a sore that she had chewed on her leg and it was always clean and looked OK, so we just watched it. Eventually she left it alone and it healed. She had chewed another spot on her paw and she was always liking it and keeping it cleaned as well.

This week she chewed it pretty far and it became infected. So bad that yesterday, Wednesday, her foot and leg were swollen with infection. I had been putting off the decision to put her down, but Chris had wanted to do it a while ago. I was just selfish and wanted her here. Every time I thought about it, I would cry and cry and cry. So I ended up deciding that it was time. That decision was soooooo hard to make. I love this sweet girl like she is my child because she has been all these years. She took the place of kids in my life since I didn't have any. I went with Chris even though he didn't think it was a good idea. It was really hard to be there, but it was almost like she was excited to go. I haven't seen her that mobile in a while. Again, she wouldn't leave my side. I had to sit at the top of the blanket and coax her into laying down. It was the hardest thing to watch, and I will forever be impacted by that moment. Chris and I both bawled like babies during the whole thing. In fact, I don't think I have really stopped crying since I decided it was time. We took her and buried her on the farm that my family lives on so I am glad that I know where she is and that I can visit her if I need to.

Now comes another hard part, learning to be without her. I am going to miss her every day from here on out and I don't know how I am going to get over the pain of losing her, although I know it's possible. Right now it doesn't feel real. It just feels like she is at the vet, or something. It has also impacted my little foster son, even though we tried to talk with him about it before hand. He keeps asking where she is. We also have our other dog that is struggling already. I got home from shopping and when I came in, he was waiting at the door to the garage. So I opened the door and let him go out and look around. He kept standing up to see in the car, so I opened the door and let him jump in to investigate. I knew exactly what he was doing the minute I walked in. He was looking for Sage. Broke my heart more to see that.

I hate thinking about what happened, but I know that it was the right thing, and that she is happy. I love you, Sage and I hope you know that we did this for your happiness and that I hope you are enjoying your perfect body and playing with my boys. You are everything to me and I will never forget you. You will always be with me in my heart.

Experiences, experiences!!!

A lot of you are friends with me on Facebook which gets updated a lot more than this blog, obviously, so most of you know what things have been going on in our lives. My last post was talking about our cute little foster son that we had starting in December of last year. We loved that little guy so much and so it was so hard for us to say goodbye to him at the first part of March as he went home to his parents. They worked so hard to get him back and we were happy to help them while they worked on their issues. We kept in contract and actually got to have him quite a bit after he went home, so it helped soothe the heart a little.

We had a birthmom that we met with also at the beginning of March and she was intent on us for her baby. We kept up writing emails back and forth for several months and while it felt comfortable to us to continue forward, part of what we felt was that we were only there to help her through some tough times. In the long run she ended up letting go of us. I'm not sure if she decided to parent or if she actually placed.with another couple. It was hard because we has fostered this relationship with her and then to not be chosen was hard. Luckily, or maybe not so luckily, we are used to dissappointment so we bounced back to our feet.

Then we got a call from DCFS a few short weeks later and had a case presented to us. We were notified up front that this was going to be a difficult case because it involved a 2 yr old boy and twin 8 month olds (a boy and a girl). We thought hard about it and figured why not? We were ready for three 6 yrs ago, might as well. The only hiccup was that I was an assistant at girls camp and would be leaving after only having them for 2 weeks. There was no way Chris could handle it by himself for 4 days. So we arranged to have them go to another foster family during that time.

Needless to say it has turned our world upside down!!! In a positive way for the most part. It has been hard not to be able to just go out with Chris and it is an awful lot to ask of someone to take your 3 kids, including 2 babies, while we go out. If I get a babysitter, I would have to get 2 and then that is way expensive!! So our home is crazy and chaotic almost all day long. So differed than a few months ago. They are all cute kids and have so much personality already. They all have dimples and love to show them off!! I can't post pictures until they are ours, so for now, you just have to imagine. :)

But things are looking good for us and it looks like we may get to keep them!! Fingers crossed!!!! There is, of course, no guarantee until things are said and done which we will know more about as of November 16th.

So for now, keep is in your prayers and pray these cute kids can stay and be part of our forever family!! I'll try my best to keep you all updated!! Love!!

Wow, it's been a while (long post)

A lot has happened since I last posted almost a year ago. Chris and I decided to become foster parents. Chris has always been willing to do whatever we need in order to have children in our home, I have always hesitated because I really want to have our children, but I finally just got so sick and tired if not having children in our home that I contact DCFS to get info on foster care.

It happened fast after we made the decision. We had classes that we had to go to and after we completed that process along with a homestudy and background check, we became licensed. They originally said that I could work and still be a foster mom but Chris and I felt strongly that I needed to be home. We discussed it one night and decided it was best and Chris wanted me to give my notice the next day. Wow, what a big step!!! I had worked at Deseret Mutual for almost 12 years!! It was a lot of pressure and a very large change for me. But I went in and worked up the courage and finally talked to my boss. It made it easy that he is a good friend of mine and is married to one of my best friends. We had talked about the possibility of me quitting, so he knew it was coming. Everyone was really supportive and it made it a little easier. I miss everyone terribly!!!

In November we got a call to take 3 kids. A 5 year old, 2.5 year old and a 6 month old. We were nervous, but figured we just needed to jump in. The baby was needing a daily visit with the mother to breast feed and after really thinking about it, we decided that was a lot of work with the daily visit so we told them we couldn't do it. They asked us to take the 5 and 2.5 year old and then we would get the 6 month old when the daily feedings were done. We told them we would do that but the day of court was just a few days away so they wanted us to wait until after court. The judge ended up ordering them back home which was a shock to all the case workers involved. But that is what judges can do!!

They called us the next day and presented another case of a 4 year old girl and a 3 week old boy. We said sure!! I was at the festival of trees with my in laws and at 5 pm they called and I hurried home. They beat me home by about 15 minutes. It was so crazy!!! They are way cute kids and the baby was sooooo little!! Me heart broke for the mother that her sweet new baby was taken from her. Granted it is her fault, I still felt sorry for her. It was a rough couple of days trying to get things figured out. The baby ended up having colic and reflux so he was and still is a lot of work. We only had the 4 year old for 6 days and then she went to her dad (different dad than the baby). I cried when she left, but I was a little relieved. She didn't take naps anymore and with the baby being up so much, if made it easier to focus on him and his needs. Many nights sitting in my closet on the floor crying with him laying in front of me screaming and knowing there is nothing I can do for him. It has been a rough ride, but he is so sweet and so cute that it makes it worth it.

He turned 3 months today and he is smiling and cooing and talking up a storm. He has been having weekly visits with his parents since the first part of January. He goes on Tuesday and Thursday from 2-5 and Saturday from 12-8. Chris and I feel that the parents really do love their children and they seem like good people, they have just made some mistakes which they are trying to correct. We had a meeting yesterday about doing a trial home placement. The general feeling is that he should go home. So in a few weeks we will be losing him, but it is best for him and his family if they are together. they also extended his visits so he will now go Tuesday and Thursday from 1-6 and an 8 hour visit on Saturday and Sunday. It is going to be so hard to give him back, but I just have to remember that we helped them when they needed it and now it is time for them to be together again.

So who knows what will come next. His caseworker really liked us and said she would send cases our way for sure. That's encouragIng when people feel that way about you.

So that's it in a nutshell!! I love being at home and being able to spend time with my sisters and mom. It has been everything I always dreamed it would be. I just hope eventually we can keep some of these precious kids we get in our home. I hope to keep this up to date a little better, but only time will tell!! Baby is crying, duty calls!!! See ya!!

Busy yet, I feel like I don't do anything

I have neglected this blog for several months. I haven't been on facebook consistently for a while, just here and there. Haven't seen some of my friends in a while, etc. Just an all around boring person so there isn't much to write about.

However, I discovered a new love. I made my first wedding cake and despite the stress that it caused, it turned out pretty dang good. It was for one of my best friends who got married again. I think they really liked it too.

I also wanted to take a few lines to just tell my husband how grateful I am for him. He is the best husband that a woman could ever ask for. This month on the 16th we will be married for 13 years. It has been a rough 13 years, but the most wonderful 13 years of my life. I feel like he is such a blessing in my life and I don't know what I would do without him. He is so patient and loving with me and I appreciate all the comfort he gives me and has given me over the last several years. I am sure that sometimes he feels like he doesn't help, but he does.

I also miss my friends. I haven't been the best about keeping in touch with some of my best friends. I have missed out on some special times and memories with them. That is one my New Year's resolution. To spend more time with friends that I haven't seen in a while. I think you know who you are!

Well, I pretty much live a boring life right now, so I will write again when I have something else to write about. :) Love you all!!

Desperation

Desperation causes people to put themselves through things that they normally wouldn't go through.

I have been going to a clinic in the hopes that they will have some new angle on how I can get pregnant. I have been going to them since April and so far no progress. Have lost a few pounds, but that is not what I am in this for. Nice side effect, but not what I want. So they decided that I should do the HCG diet on top of the other things that I am doing. So I started that 1 week ago today, and I have lost 6 pounds already. It is one of the hardest things I have ever put myself through. But when a person is desperate for something to work, they are willing to try anything. Hopefully this will be the thing that works.

I had a great experience a couple of weeks ago. You know the point that you get to where you feel like all hope is lost and you are destined to be in misery for ever and ever? I reached that point. It was one of the lowest points that I have ever had. I went for a drive and just drove and drove trying to make sense of everything. I was so angry and frustrated and just basically done. I started demanding a direction on what I am supposed to be doing. It is not like I am asking for something horrible. A few days later, I got an email that encouraged me. I realized what it was, my answer.

I have never had an experience like that before. Where it is so clear that your prayer has been answered. I immediately knelt down and thanked my Heavenly Father for his patience in my sorrow and for seeing that I was struggling and needed a boost.

Patience always runs thin in our household. It has been a long, long, long road and we are eager for it to be at it's end. I keep hoping and praying that someone will feel inspired to choose us to be the parents of their child or that the pregnancy really happens for us. For now, at least I know that we are on the right path, whatever that may be.

Deep Breaths....

Chris and I have been keeping ourselves busy in the last several months. I don't know what we are doing, but somehow we are busy.

My grandma passed away a few weeks ago. It was one of the hardest things that I have been through. The weird thing is, I don't feel sad anymore. I know it was her time and I am so glad that she is not in pain anymore. I keep thinking of her being with my baby boys and it just makes me so happy that they have each other. The hardest thing for me now, is trying to figure out how to help my grandpa. I feel so sorry for him being alone. I can't imagine being with someone for that many years and having them be your companion in this life and then they are suddenly gone. It just breaks my heart.

On an upbeat note, this last weekend we went up to my uncle's cabin in the Uinta Mountains for a family reunion. I don't know where a more peaceful place would be found in the outdoors. Of course it is always hectic when you have a bazillion family members running around, but even with that, it is such a peaceful place. I love the solitude you feel in places like that. It really gives you a time to reflect on things.

I have also been involved in a book club the last few months and I have to say that I wish I would have joined a long time ago. I love reading and being able to talk about different perspectives that others may have. It has been a little piece of something for me and I am addicted. Of course Chris is going to love it since I feel compelled to buy the books that we read. Hopefully I don't end up purchasing one I don't like. So far so good. The group is full of wonderful ladies that are such a blast to be around. I have heard that there can be some heated conversations, but so far there hasn't been anything of the sort in the months that I have been going. Something to look forward to, I guess.

I have also started to really become serious about doing guitar classes. I hope to be able to do that sometime this year.

I figure if I continue to keep my life as full as I can, I will be so busy that I really won't have the time to focus on things that I don't have. I just keep hoping that this will be over, right around the next corner. But I have been thinking that for years.

I enjoy so much in my life right now. I am so blessed to have a husband that is committed to our marriage and loves me regardless of my imperfections. I love when I can look at him and still feel that little quiver with the knowledge that he is mine forever as long as we continue to work at it. We have been through so much in this life and we are a stronger couple because of it. We still have our struggles and disagreements, but we know that we are strong and we can make it.

I am so grateful for my testimony of the gospel. I honestly don't know what people do without it in their life. It has been a great comfort to me. Every time I start to doubt, I think back to some of the trials that I have had and I remember the blessings I have received. There have been many times that I have doubted Heavenly Father's love for me and I still struggle every once in a while. But I have been blessed far beyond what I deserve. I am so thankful for the Priesthood and the blessings that we receive because of it being in our home. I know that I am far from perfect, and I have many flaws, outward and inward, but Heavenly Father knows my heart.

Thank you to my support system for being there when I needed someone and even sometimes when I didn't think I needed someone. I have such wonderful people in my life. If you are reading this, you are one of them.

Trivial Little Things

Isn't is so sad that it takes being faced with the loss of a loved one to come to your senses? Here I am worried about these trivial little things in my life while my grandma is getting ready to leave this world. It certainly gives one some perspective.

I don't like to act like she is already gone, but thought I would just jot down a few things.

Dancing to ABBA, The Candyman and Kenny Rogers. Remembering how much Ray Stevens cracks her up. Macaroni and Tomatoes, or Macaroni and chili for meals. Watching Wheel of Fortune. How she always talks about how good looking may grandpa is and how much she loves his legs (still to this day). How she loved to do the dishes because that is when she felt inspired. Homemade bread and jam. Playing Sorry with her and she always had to be red. Playing Spoons, she was always oh so sneaky. Dominoes, Hand and Foot. Many good memories.

Every night I go to bed, I am surrounded by her love in a quilt that she hand stitched for me.

This is going to be a one of the worst things in my life and I am not ready to face it!

Grandma, I love you.

Do you ever....

...wish that things would just work out how you want them? Life seems to be so hard sometimes and for once I would just love for things to go the way that I want. When do I get to plan things for myself?

I am not in a very good place right now. You don't like it when this Michelle comes out to play.

People ask what is new in my life.....my answer is always nothing. I would love to have something good and positive happen that I could talk about. I feel like I am just existing and not living.

Well, this is a good post. I haven't written in over a month and this is what I write. Sorry. Hopefully I will have a better outlook in a few days and I will post again.

Chris' birthday and other random things

So Chris' birthday was yesterday. He was supposed to be at an all day scouting thing, so we took some time off work on Friday to celebrate it. We went to lunch at Market Street Grill and can I say, "Cha-ching!!!" That place was expensive especially for lunch. We spent $80. Wow, that is just crazy!! I am glad we had a gift card. Then we went to see Monster vs Aliens. That is a way cute movie!! After that, I went and stayed overnight with a friend to help give some relief during the night by rocking her sweet baby to sleep after feedings so she could rest. That was way fun!!

I got together with some friends from work to watch "17 Again" Saturday afternoon. I am definately a Zac Efron fan. That movie was so funny! It is really cute as well. After that, Chris and I went out to lunch for his actual birthday and then did some shopping. You will never quess what Chris got for his present.....Guitar Hero World Tour and Guitar Hero Metallica. He is in heaven!!! After he opened his gift, we went to Desert Star to watch the production of American Fork Idol. It was hysterical!! I really miss going there. We will have to look at getting season tickets. We laughed pretty hard. If you haven't ever been there, you should go. They do a really good job and it is definately a night of laughter.

Anyway, Happy birthday, my love!!

Weekend Mommy

My brother and sister-in-law got the opportunity to go to California and they asked me to keep their son Boston, who is 13 months old, while they were gone. I was so thrilled!!! I had a lot of fun, but it was also a lot of work. I found that I was exhausted by about 9:00 pm which is so dang early for those that know what a night owl I am.

He is a really, really good sleeper still so I feel like it was easier than it probably should have been. The hardest thing was trying to get him to eat. There was always so much going on, that he had a hard time focusing on eating. Plus he is teething so he had a temperature while with us.

It was hard to see him go after they returned home. It was hard going back to work after getting a taste of what it is like to be a mom 24-7. Hopefully my time will come soon. I am anxiously awaiting my time to experience this wonderful joy.

Chris was great. When Boston would wake up in the middle of the night, I would send Chris down to get him a bottle and I would go start to rock him back to sleep. He was very possessive of him when he was around. He is such a great support and he helps out so much.

Hopefully soon!!

It's been a while...

What is going on at the Wall household you ask? Since it has been such a long time since last updated my blog, there is lots to tell.

Not really. Nothing new. We are both sick right now and that has gotten to be the usual around here. Cold season needs to be over for us, we have had our fare share.

I am looking forward to spring. It is my second favorite time of the year. Fall is my other favorite. I love the air when it is still chilly but the sun is warm. It is weather like this that makes me miss our Jeep Wrangler. We used to have such a blast riding around with the top off enjoying the cool breeze. The only thing I hated is how much of a rats nest my hair was after we got where we were going.

Well, life is normal for us right now. No surprises, which we can all use. As long as they are good surprises. We found out that we actually were only one family away from being chosen for a baby. What a bummer!! It was nice to know that we got that close though. Next time, hopefully, they choose us. She ended up giving it to a distant family member out of state.

We just hope that everyone is keeping their ears and eyes open for us. We need every one's help as much as we can.

Sickness, updates & other ramblings

I am so tired of being sick! I have had this crappy cold stuff on and off for the last 3 weeks and man, enough is enough!!

The good part about being sick is that I have had the opportunity to catch up on my newest TV series that I have become addicted to....Charmed. I have gone off the deep end!! Chris absolutely hates it, but I have become completely obsessed with the show. I have watched it before now, on and off, but not in a concentrated amount like I am now. I found the first season at Wal-Mart for $19.99 and thought, ya why not. I now have almost all the seasons on DVD. I am crazy!!

So I guess when you ask for a change in the every day life, you get changes that you don't want. Karma....

I have also become obsessed with Facebook lately. I never really got into it and I have been a member of it for a while, but I just recently went in and found a bunch of high school friends. It has been kind of fun to catch up with them and see what everyone has been up to in the last 15 years. Wow now that is scary.....15 years since I was in high school??? That is crazy!!!

I wish I had something new to tell on the adoption front. Things are exactly the same, except you can finally see our profile online. For anyone interested it is at beta.itsaboutlove.org and our profile number is 4983268. It just barely got put on and I think they are still adjusting things so our picture doesn't quite fit, but at least it is on. We hope to do a blog site just for adoptive couples that will link to the profile, but I haven't completed it yet.

We went and saw Paul Blart: Mall Cop this weekend with some friends that we haven't see in a while. (Thanks for the fun night Jason and Emily!! I hope I didn't spoil it too bad by being sick.) Anyway, it is so dang funny! We laughed and laughed!! It is a clean, fun movie that I think a lot of people will like.

For our anniversary on January 16th, Chris and I just hung out with each other and played. I know, what is new about that? Chris brought me breakfast in bed which was so sweet!! Then we got ready and ran a few errands. We went out to lunch and then we went and saw Bedtime Stories starring Adam Sandler. That is a cute movie as well. Definately one I will buy. (I know...surprise, surprise.) I also dragged Chris to see Bride Wars. He was a good sport. It is definately not a guy movie, but it was really cute.

I just want to also thank those of you who have helped fill in for me on Sunday in Relief Society while I have been sick. I really appreciate it. I keep thinking that I am getting over it and then it hits me again. Hopefully I am done with it soon. We went through and disinfected our entire house with Lysol. Doorknobs...light switches...dogs....bed, etc. Hopefully that will do it.

I am so excited to be going to St. George this weekend for Annelise's wedding. I am so excited for her!!! She has herself a great guy and I think they will be very happy!! I am glad for the excuse to get away from life and enjoy some quality time with some friends on the drive down and to share in this event with Annelise. The girls in our ward are growing up!! Tear.... :(

Ok, I know it is a long blog, but it has been a while since I have posted and I am sorry about that. Sorry for the ramblings and thank you for your patience in reading it.

Guitar Lessons and Piano Lessons

I have it in my mind to take piano and guitar lessons. I am not sure if I can do both or just one at a time, but would like to know if anyone would be able to teach me either of these. Any help would be appreciated!!

Another Year

I can't believe that another year has come and gone. I wish I could say that it is any different than other years. Another year older, another dog, another bird and other than that, nothing else new. Here's to this next year being the best year ever. Hopefully it will. This month will be our 12th Anniversary. Twelve years!!! I am not sure we have anything to show for it either. Oh well. I am thankful that I have a home to live in and family and friends that care about us and love us just the way we are. We are not perfect and I am glad that everyone is so willing to put up with us and all our baggage.

Pictures of the Christmas festivities

Well this year was nothing new for us, but we always enjoy spending time with our family. I have included a few pictures of the festivities plus a few others that I have floating around.

This is a picture of Grandpa Wall with Conni so cute!!! She is getting so big!

This is a picture of Chris holding Conni. She likes her Uncle Chris!

Aunt Michelle and Justine opening her gift. She is so much fun to watch and is so curious about everything.

The boys got homemade CTR capes that Grandma made. They had fun running around with the capes flying behind them.

Grandma Wall with Justine giving Uncle Dave a high 5. She has the cutest smile ever!!

Parker is my brother Darin's new baby. He is just starting to smile really good when you talk to him.

Boston is to the left, Corbin is in the middle and Raegan is on the right. They were having so much fun playing together. It was hysterical!!

Grandpa Earl is helping Corbin play the drums for Rock Band. So cute!!

Chris and I got a 52 inch LCD and a Blue Ray player for Christmas. Plus a few other items. We are very excited!!!

This is a picture of Chris and I at the Jazz game a few weeks ago. It was a blast!! We had 2nd row tickets from a vendor of his. I have never sat that close!


This is a picture of my Grandma and Grandpa. Aren't they cute??

Sage decided that she was going to put her pillow on top of Koda and lay on it. It is about time, because he is always sitting on her head. He doesn't care.

Chris' bird had to have surgery on his feet. Poor little guy!!! I colored out his food so it wouldn't gross everyone out!

Crib Mattress

OK, so I need a crib mattress to put in the crib and Chris was telling me that the lady at Babies R Us told him that anything under 250 coils is not SIDS compliant. Is this true or was she just trying to get him to buy the most expensive mattress? Also, where is a good place to get them at? They are all over in prices at the various different stores. I need the professionals to help me since I have no idea what to get. Suggestions?

Decorating and Updates

OK, so I posted this once and when I went to update it, I got an error and it didn't save as a draft. So here we go again.

So I haven't even put up my Christmas yet. I have been so swamped with work and with life in general. I didn't even put any of my fall decorations up. I really wish I were rich enough to be able to pay someone to come in and decorate my house. I have some ideas, but I get so nervous to do anything. We have lived in our house for 6 years and I still feel like it isn't my home. I thought I would paint my room and it was such a fiasco!! I wanted it to be a light dusty plum color. Instead I got purple sherbet. Chris hates purple and I talked him into letting me do it because it would be noticeable, yeah right!! So if anyone has any opinions or advice, I would greatly appreciate it!!

On the adoption front, there is really nothing new going on. We have had a few leads, but nothing ever really happens. We just encourage and ask everyone to keep their ears open. I talked to our case worker and she said that we don't even have to go through them. If someone hears by word of mouth and wants to meet us, we can just go through and attorney and pay the court fees.

We actually thought that we were going to be able to adopt a sibling group. It is a boy about 18 months and a girl about 6 months. The mother is off playing with her boyfriend and has left the children with various family members. She apparently has looked at placing them for adoption before, but didn't ever do it. If she decides to do it again, it won't be until she is back home from galavanting with her boyfriend and has the children back in her custody. So who knows. I am not getting my hopes up, although it would be nice.

Well that is all the updates. I hope everyone is enjoying the holiday season and keeping the true meaning of Christmas in our homes.

Twilight!!!

OK, so I saw Twilight three times this weekend!!!! I didn't love it the first time because I compared it too much to the movie, which I was trying not to do. But the second time, I liked it better, but the third time, I loved it!!! I went right out and bought the soundtrack which is wonderful!!

I really want to see it again, tonight in fact, but I have tickets to go to the Jazz game on the second row. Can't pass that up!!!

My birthday was kind of a bummer because some plans didn't work out. But later that day, it was really good. we went out with friends for dinner and a movie and it was really fun.

Chris decided to buy me a crib for the nursery.
No we are not announcing anything. I figured since the adoption was approved, that we could go ahead and get one. We watch our nieces and nephews from time to time and since they are all getting mobile, I can use it for them until it is time to use it for our own. I posted a picture. It is beautiful!!! I love it!!

If anyone is interested in going to see Twilight and can do it sometime after 6 pm, let me know, I would love to go see it again!!! (Except for tonight, obviously!!)

Have a fabulous day!!

I was tagged a while ago....

My life is an open book so I will have to see if I have 7 weird things to tell you.

1. I don't like to touch raw chicken. I can touch any other kinds of raw meat, but for some reason I can't handle touching raw chicken. It makes my hands feel weird.

2. I have to eat sunflower seeds in 2's. I don't know why and it gets to the point that if I have already put some in my mouth, I roll them around counting them to see if I need to put one more in. Psycho!!!

3. I am obsessed with cook books. I am always looking at them and buying them. But it bothers me if they don't have a picture with the recipe. I have started flipping through cook books to see if there is a picture for every dish and if not, I tend to not get it. I do better if I can see what it is supposed to looks like. Plus sometimes if you read the recipe, it doesn't sound like it would be good, but if it had a picture, it may look good and convince you to make it!!

4. I do not like my blinds open. If my windows have curtains, then I will open my blinds, but keep the curtains down. I don't like blinds to be just open for all to see what I am up to. It drives Chris crazy!!! He likes to let the light in.

5. I am really organized at work. To the point that I am teased constantly. It is a little OCD for me and I know it and admit to it. However, my house is a different story. I like to be able to relax when I am home so it tends to have enough done just to get by.

6. I know that everyone is aware that I love to buy movies. It is something I enjoy. However, I don't think that many people know that I have over 600 DVDs on top of several hundred VHS. What can I say, I love movies!!

7. I have more candles than I know what to do with. Every time I get invited to a candle party, I can't just get one. But I don't like to burn them because I don't want the soot on my ceiling. So I just have a ton of smelly candles that sit in a cupboard not being used.

8. I thought of an eighth thing. I love the smell of irrigation ditches being burned. It is a comfy smell and reminds me of home.

Well that is probably not as fun as you expected. I really had to stretch for some of these things to write. Enjoy!!