Desperation causes people to put themselves through things that they normally wouldn't go through.
I have been going to a clinic in the hopes that they will have some new angle on how I can get pregnant. I have been going to them since April and so far no progress. Have lost a few pounds, but that is not what I am in this for. Nice side effect, but not what I want. So they decided that I should do the HCG diet on top of the other things that I am doing. So I started that 1 week ago today, and I have lost 6 pounds already. It is one of the hardest things I have ever put myself through. But when a person is desperate for something to work, they are willing to try anything. Hopefully this will be the thing that works.
I had a great experience a couple of weeks ago. You know the point that you get to where you feel like all hope is lost and you are destined to be in misery for ever and ever? I reached that point. It was one of the lowest points that I have ever had. I went for a drive and just drove and drove trying to make sense of everything. I was so angry and frustrated and just basically done. I started demanding a direction on what I am supposed to be doing. It is not like I am asking for something horrible. A few days later, I got an email that encouraged me. I realized what it was, my answer.
I have never had an experience like that before. Where it is so clear that your prayer has been answered. I immediately knelt down and thanked my Heavenly Father for his patience in my sorrow and for seeing that I was struggling and needed a boost.
Patience always runs thin in our household. It has been a long, long, long road and we are eager for it to be at it's end. I keep hoping and praying that someone will feel inspired to choose us to be the parents of their child or that the pregnancy really happens for us. For now, at least I know that we are on the right path, whatever that may be.
Baptism pictures
9 years ago
5 comments:
Michelle- I am so sorry that you have to travel this long, often horrible road. It's harder than most people think. You are such a strong person, most people would have given up a long time ago. You're in my prayers:)
Michelle...You are such an amazing person. I am so sorry that you and Chris are in this trial. You have such a positve attitude. I agree with my sister-that most people would have thrown in the towel by now-you are in my prayers and my thoughts are with you through this trial-I love you and look up to you. Ever need to talk my shoulder is always here-775-9224
Michelle, I can't believe how strong you are to be able to go through this. I admire you for your strength. You and Chris are in our prayers.
Know that I will pray for you - you would be such a great mom to a very, very lucky child. I hope your day comes sooner then later...continue to keep strong.
What I like is that in the midst of your desperation you saw the answer and immediately thanked Heavenly Father for it. We can easily be so caught up in the self-ness of our misery that we fail to recognize the whisp of heaven when it swoops down and smacks us a good kiss right on the forehead.
There are more of those heavenly kisses in your future. Be ready.
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