Life Changes- sad post

Well I am telling you right now, this post is not going to be an upbeat one. Today was a very sad day for our family. Some of you know because you are also friends with me on Facebook, but we had to put Sage, our mild mannered, beautiful, friend and companion, to sleep today. It has been the second hardest day in my life so far, the first of which being the day my babies were born.

I remember the day Sage came to us. We were so worried about her getting into things since she was just a puppy and the only thing we had was a borrowed circular pillow that she only fit in for about 2 weeks, that Chris actually spent the night downstairs with her. I have a picture of this but it was before digital photos so I need to scan it. She was such a beautiful and friendly dog. It was always funny to hear people react to us saying that we had a Weimarainer. They would talk about how hyper and horrible they are as dogs, but not our Sage. We joke that she was more human than dog most of the time. She loved spending time with us and we loved her every minute. Well, I guess not every minute. There was a time that she sneaked upstairs and was in the room my sister was sleeping in and scared her to death, and when she came downstairs to leave for work, Sage had torn apart her pillow and strewn it throughout the house, chewed up some pictures left on the coffee table and eaten Chris' pager from Search and Rescue, an expensive replacement. We have pictures of this too, just not digital.

But in spite of some of the crazy times, she was a great dog. She loved running errands with me and would always sit in the passenger seat. Occasionally she would look over like she was asking, "Where are we going?" and she would sniff the vents to see if she could tell by the outside air coming in. All we ever had to say was, "Do you want to go for a ride?" and she would be on her feet running for the door. One of my favorite things she would do while riding with me on errands, was she would lean over and rest her head on my shoulder or lap and just be with me. She loved to snuggle and I wished I could have done it more, but I have severe allergies to dogs, I always broke out in hives when I let her touch my skin.


She loved going to the park and running. For several years Chris and I would go over and walk after 10 pm and take her with us. She was such a good dog, that we could let her off her leash and she would just run around by us. She never liked to be out of our sight which is opposite of our other dog.

The time I will always love her for, was the time that I was in the hospital with the triplets. That was so hard not seeing her since I was there for 10 days. The nurses kept asking how big of a dog she was so they could sneak her in to see me, but there is not sneaking Sage. She's a big dog. I missed her so much I would cry on the phone and Chris would try and get her to bark or sing or make any noise on the phone so I could hear her. He would put me on speaker phone so I could talk to her and he said she would run around looking for me. When I came home empty handed, she was there to comfort me. I'm not sure if she knew what went on, but she knew I needed someone. She would not leave my side and it was such a comforting thing. Even today as I was talking to a friend and crying over this difficult decision that we had to make, she got up and came over and sat by my feet and tried to comfort me even though she could barely move.

You couldn't ask for a better dog than Sage. Most people that met her were very complimentary of her. She really was an angel on Earth for our family.

She was injured a little over a year ago while running up and down the stairs in our home. We don't know if she tripped on her own foot or Koda's, but she ended up have radial damage in her shoulder. We took her to the vet and they said it was probably repairable but there was no guarantee and it was really expensive since we would have to see a specialist. They told us she could still have many good months to years even with the dead leg so we decided to watch and see. She did fine until a few months ago when I noticed she started really seeming worn out. She had a sore that she had chewed on her leg and it was always clean and looked OK, so we just watched it. Eventually she left it alone and it healed. She had chewed another spot on her paw and she was always liking it and keeping it cleaned as well.

This week she chewed it pretty far and it became infected. So bad that yesterday, Wednesday, her foot and leg were swollen with infection. I had been putting off the decision to put her down, but Chris had wanted to do it a while ago. I was just selfish and wanted her here. Every time I thought about it, I would cry and cry and cry. So I ended up deciding that it was time. That decision was soooooo hard to make. I love this sweet girl like she is my child because she has been all these years. She took the place of kids in my life since I didn't have any. I went with Chris even though he didn't think it was a good idea. It was really hard to be there, but it was almost like she was excited to go. I haven't seen her that mobile in a while. Again, she wouldn't leave my side. I had to sit at the top of the blanket and coax her into laying down. It was the hardest thing to watch, and I will forever be impacted by that moment. Chris and I both bawled like babies during the whole thing. In fact, I don't think I have really stopped crying since I decided it was time. We took her and buried her on the farm that my family lives on so I am glad that I know where she is and that I can visit her if I need to.

Now comes another hard part, learning to be without her. I am going to miss her every day from here on out and I don't know how I am going to get over the pain of losing her, although I know it's possible. Right now it doesn't feel real. It just feels like she is at the vet, or something. It has also impacted my little foster son, even though we tried to talk with him about it before hand. He keeps asking where she is. We also have our other dog that is struggling already. I got home from shopping and when I came in, he was waiting at the door to the garage. So I opened the door and let him go out and look around. He kept standing up to see in the car, so I opened the door and let him jump in to investigate. I knew exactly what he was doing the minute I walked in. He was looking for Sage. Broke my heart more to see that.

I hate thinking about what happened, but I know that it was the right thing, and that she is happy. I love you, Sage and I hope you know that we did this for your happiness and that I hope you are enjoying your perfect body and playing with my boys. You are everything to me and I will never forget you. You will always be with me in my heart.